| poopstankies |
[11 Oct 2005|03:54pm] |
were all trapped in sinkingshipes, but weve never reached the bottom of the ocean yet.
its when we hit that rock bottom, and then we truly are alive.
mad at Andy, last night he signed girls boobs. thats so mature. set a great example of yourself man, i used to know the harry potter andy, now its the I'll sign your boobies.
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[14 Jun 2005|08:36am] |
A Good veil says we have not been properly introduced. you're the prize behind door number three. your the lady or the tiger. in our world where nobody can keep a secret anymore. a good veil says thank you for not sharing.
we are the self composing.
when we dont know who to hate we hate ourselves
you have to keep recycling your self
nothing of me is original . i am the combined effore of everybody ive ever known
the one you love and the one who loves you are never, the same person.
TELL THE WORLD WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST. SAVE THE WORLD WITH SOME ADVICE FROM THE FUTURE
game shows are designed to make us feel b etter about the random useless facts that are all we have left of our education
when did the future switch from being a promise to being a threat
only when we eat up this planet god will give us another. we will be remebered more for what we destroy then what we create.
Your the corpse in an english murder mystery.
its only after you've lost everything, that your free to do anything.
put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains
maybe self distruction is the answer
“That’s the biggest purpose of religious gathering: permission to look terrible in public. We used to go to church to confess our worst behaviour, to be heard and forgiven, then to be redeemed and accepted back into our community
”
we are not special
we are not crap or trash either
we just are
we just are and what happends just happends.
our culture has made us all the same. no one is truly white or black or rich anymore. we all want the same. individually we are nothing.
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[03 Feb 2005|09:44am] |
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mood |
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music |
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vendetta red- between the never and the now |
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so i havent wrote in livejournal for very long....
i wrote this song in geometry its called "she always loved the spotlight" but i have the lyrics at home. its good. im excited to go to the formal with tim saturday night. i got cool shoes. im sitting here w/ rachel shes looking at her regge group in myspace. i like myapce. myspace is better than live journal haha. i heard a funny story about dani's friend ed today and his encounter with J. it make me laugh. okay bye.
poopppiieeeeepoop!
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| Light a match for i deserve to burn |
[18 Nov 2004|05:32pm] |
its so much fun to realize you have no friends.
its the best feeling ever.
top it off with not having a family, and its a doozey!
isnt it fun to pretend youre happy?
what would you waste a wish on?
id love to just be oblivious to everything.
or maybe when i die, to be reborn as a tiger.
its so much fun to realize theres no happy endings.
its the best feeling ever.
top it off with disgust at the site of your reflection, and its a doozey!
oh boy is it fun to stare at a stranger and fantasize about being them instead.
why does it bother me so much that you guys arent miserable like me?
its not fair. you never told me id hate myself.
you managed to leave out that it doesnt matter if THE WHOLE WORLD LOVES YOU, if you lock urself in youre room for days because you cant bare them to see youre face.
what would i waste a wish on?
i wished for you to like me.
if i could do it all over,
id wish for me to like me.
with every passing second, i find myself closer to my side of the bargain.
i never thought itd last forever.
i knew you were smarter than that.
i always wondered when youd show me up.
all along i thought i was the one in power
but it was you spoon feeding me all this hate.
happiness arrives,
but at cost to how many lives?
you didnt say a word. not one.
you never told me, its you id become.
"you're weak!" it screamed inside me.
ive never seen a rainbow
and i dont always look both ways before crossing.
i live risk and you can never take from me,
my imperfected face.
i guess you dont need to tell me what happens next.
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| boo and ya. |
[10 Nov 2004|09:09pm] |
so everynight i watch old James Bond movies on my computer its nice.
Tim and I have greatt converstions on the phone at night.
heres a snippet of one of them...
tim: yeah when i see a weird person / retarted i just freak out and point and laugh and shit
Me: same but.. i kinda feel bad after
Tim: um why...
Me: because if i was a retard I'd be like. " im gonna fucking beat that mother fuvker up. but i cant, because im retarted.. and my arms wont move!!"
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[03 Nov 2004|10:01am] |
i am dead.
I walk around , i see, i breathe, i talk, i love, i hate, i sleep, i run, i scream.
but i am dead.
i cant fake being alive anymore, everyone knows my secret.
why does every single boy think that every single girl is a toy.
the truth is,[ i dont want to face it ] Anthony used me to get back with his old girlfriend. and its sick. im discusted with myslef for ever liking him. and the sad part is that every single day in the hallways he comes up to me . demands me to give him a hug and then yells at me for caring.
"amanda what the fuck, why are you mad at me. "
" you only broke my heart thats all"
" amanda what the fuck. give me a hug"
"id like to go now."
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[20 Oct 2004|08:26am] |
he's cute.
EDIT and makes me laugh <3 thanks laur
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[12 Oct 2004|08:10pm] |
hi. i like cupcakes and crying to 13 going on 30 hah. no.
today sucked
like the others
the kinda day when you wanna slit your wrists in the bathroom and drown all the people you hate in your blood.
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[11 Oct 2004|10:02am] |
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so yeah. im pretty upset right now but what could i expect. im not good enough for anyone. hah. what the fuck was i even thinking. me + a good looking guy and a great personaly = X maybe i should just stick with no one because i dont deserve any one and dont take it in the way that im saying " im so much better" im saying "im so much worse" but you know maybe its not so wrong to think that the person you like could everrr like you back. even if its all a lie you know. but whatever, i cant dwell on it. as long as he is happy ill be fine like this forever.
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[17 Sep 2004|11:45pm] |
i dont update anymore. you ask why. what do i have to update on . about how much my life SUCKS. and how i want to die? do you really want to hear that from me? because i know when people pour their heart out on these stupid little things and are only on my friends list from like fob communities i really dont give a shit.
i only care about my friends not even myself.
i hate myself.
but yet again. i am drained and dead playing shit on the guitar that sounds like a homeless person trying to make some money on the street. i cant read tabs.
hey. i like livejournal again.
MAYBE ITS BECAUSE I NEVER SEE MY FUCKING BEST FRIENDS IN SCHOOL ANYMORE.
die you fucking school system.
Laur, Ela. Dani. Rach. Katie. = forever my friends
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[14 Aug 2004|02:10pm] |
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Jesus ive never felt so alone before. theres so much confusion in my mind with weather i should hate the world, or change myself for it. I keep on stumbling across that line "be true to who you are" but i need to figure who i am first of all, and when i do... will i like myself? i just came home from a summer with my closest friends who all live miles away from me, and in the first time in my life, I've dreaded having to face the kids here at home who meant so much to me [ with the exceptions of a few (bowsta)], but compared to these summer friends they are just another... well whatever im rambling this sucks im going out to do something with my life today.. byee
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[27 Jun 2004|10:54am] |
hey guys im at camp. somehow i managed to get online and write in my journal.. i miss you all.. sorry laur we got disconnected last night i lost service and for the girl who left me that stupid voicemail just stop because your really annoying and should have thought about what you were doing before i left for camp and could have accually talked to you about it okay? i hate you.. heeh!!!...
someone send me Alternitave Press im dying here okay?????please pleaseeee
oh yeah and i have the craziest dreams.. last night i had a dream that andy cut his hair and i was like eweee and he magically put bak on his old hair !!! and that me and laur bought a house in cape may and it was right next to the guy who owns "girls gone wild" so there were major parties..!!
heheeheheeh leave me mesages i missd you all!!!!!!
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[14 Jun 2004|06:59am] |
Name 3 habits u have:
1) biting my finger nails
2) cracking my neck
3) falling for the wrong type of people.
Name four scents you love:
1) fire
2) boys
3) gasoline
4) vanilla
Name something you'd never wear:
1) used underwear
Name 3 animals you like:
1) doggies, puppies
2) pandas
3) kitties
Name four television shows you love:
1) 24
2) best week ever
3) rocket power
4) csi, las vegas
Name 2 bands/genres/artists most people don't know you like:
1) disturbed
2) kittie
Name 3 drinks you regularly drink:
1) water
2) grapefruit juice
3) cranrazz
Name a random fact about yourself:
i like to sleep
Name a random fact about your family:
they can suck my cock.
Have you ever...
1)Fallen for your Best Friend? no
2)Made out with JUST a friend? yes
3)Been rejected or heartbroken? oh yes.
4)Been in love? give me a definition of love, then ill tell you
5)Been in lust? yeah
6)Used someone? no
7)Been used? yes
8)Cheated on someone? yes
9)Been cheated on? yes
10)Done something you regret? see answer 8)
Who was the last person..
11)You touched? my dog
12)You talked to? talia
13)You hugged? my dog
14)You instant messaged? laur
15)You yelled at? my mom
16)You laughed with? laur
17)You had a crush on? paul
18)Who broke your heart? FUCKING ASSHOLE.
Do you:
19)Colour your hair? no
20)Have tattoos? not yet
21)Piercings? yes
22)Own a web cam? heh. no
23)Have aol? yes
24)What should you be doing right now? nothing
25)What are you listening to? librarian
27)Chicken or fish? chicken
28)Do you have a favourite animal? dogs
29)Is ice cream the best thing in the world? not the best but close
1. What would your dream date be? umm sleeping probably, maybe sleeping outside, or on a boat..mainly sleeping
2. Single flower or a dozen? single
3. Silver, gold or platinum? sl;iver
4. Candle lit dinner in a restaurant or at home? at home
6. Silly or serious romance? a little of both
7. Marvin Gaye or Barry White? gross. barf.
8. Do you consider yourself:
Romantic? uh. kinda
Snotty? no
Quiet? no
Boring? no
Funny? yes
Have you ever...
Dissected something? yeah
Drank fluids? what? no?
Kissed someone? yes
Missed someone? yes
Told someone you love them? yeah
Talked to someone you have a crush on? yes
What CD is in your CD player right now? keeping secrets of slient earth
Q. Favourite song? calm before storm fall out boy
Q. What is your shoe size? 7
Q. What will you be when you grow up? an arcatec.. dont know how to sleep it
Q. What are you doing right now? doing this
Q. What's that smell? my nail polish
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[06 Jun 2004|12:39pm] |
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mm i hate people sometimes, seriously it seems like everyones out to get me. no matter what i do someone always finds a way to turn it around and make me seem like the worst person in the world, and the truth is i feel like it.
i hung out with ryan after school one day. big fucking deal. hes my good friend, no we didnt hook up we played Mario Party okay?? thats the truth right there i dont need to hook up with every guy i hang out with and that i hate being stereotyped as that kind of girl because im not, but the truth is so mixed up now that no one can tell the differance between a lie and a fact.
It was wrong of me to ever amount to her level, i mean of course she was manipulated by lizzy but she should have been stronger [ its all down hill from here now]months of tears held back spilled out and this time i couldnt hide them. she was my best friend, my closest enemy.
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[31 May 2004|06:42pm] |
:put your curser over the picture:
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[23 May 2004|07:01pm] |
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music |
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coheed and cambria- in keeping secrets of silent earth:3 |
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last night was fucking nuts man.
first me and rachel took a 5 hour walk to bravo, we almost passed out. then we saw this girl and we thought it would be a good idea to block her like on the sidewalk so we were concentraiting on that and then she moves to the other side of the sidewalk and we made a wrong turn and are LOST.
then after we toked up i developed this whole theroy on why we sould include the point numbers inbetween the regualr numbers because they are "left out" so it would be like 1 1.1 1.2 1.3 and so on... (luke told me this)then i stated why no one likes cats ( ex. for sneaky) because they only catch mice and then they rip the heads off and leave dead carcusses in the hidden passages in the walls that you make up for them to go runn around. he kinda got annoyed at my stories but hmm i couldnt help it. all of a sudden i thought the PoohbAhs were on channel 12 at that time and we needed to watch them. i saw a preview for the PHOOPAHS on "best week ever" and i told everone that they have alien faces and a really fat and make farting noises and everyoen was so excigted to watch and guess what. IT WASNT ON. then.. i forget what happend.. OH YEAH! i taught luke how to put on make up and i wrote an im conversation on my leg with green marker... it goes like this ( reading it off leg) HI!, HEY. WHATS UP. NMU? NM! WHAT ARE YOU DOIGN TONIGHT? NMJC U? NM, WANNA HANG OUT?!! NO. i HATE YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOUR MAMA. I KILLED YOU.
yup...byee!
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